"Jon! Relax! I'm just trying to clear things up nicely!"
"You're a sneaky bastard, Chen Yang."
Meet Jon. My colleague. 1.73m tall, normal build, left the Army as a trained Guardsman.
Like all conflicts, we argued over matters that were ages old. Work undone, rubbish left behind. All the nitty gritty details supposed to be forgotten. Culminating into one of the worst argument in my life.
Jon VS Chen Yang.
The background. A simple 16 letter word that keeps countries divided and humans bleeding. Misunderstanding. A simple excuse, a complex solution. I was told to submit a list of unfinished tasks to Jon for his record. Jon took the initiative to finish one of the dispatch tasks. Unknowingly, the task was already completed by me and filed.
The Lead. Jon was the target board of the firm. If anything went wrong, it had to be Jon. Jon's files, Jon's documents, Jon's work style. It could not be helped. Files that went wrong and were in our lawyers' office were his. He was quiet. Tasked to monitor dispatch.
The Supporting. Chen Yang. New worker. A greenhorn. Able to make frequent conversations with the boss. Overly ambitious. Tasked to dispatch documents on regular basis.
His point. Jon had made a wasted trip down to the location. You should have known that I am collating the unfinished tasks for a reason. I want to make sure that the task is complete so that the company will not get into trouble.
My point. Why are you doing my job?
The climax. A heated argument in office. After all my other colleagues have left. There was no resolution. I left after feeling that the argument would lead to nowhere.
Conclusion. We never conversed after that.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Is walking away from an argument really the best solution to resolve a conflict?
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Hey ChenYang,
ReplyDeleteIf things are not going anywhere, walking away may perhaps be the best solution. Like what Kris had said in his blog post, if a heated argument is heading to nowhere, walking away from the argument may be the best step to take. When a chaotic argument gets out of hand, giving each party a timeout allows them to cool down and reflect on what they have said and done for that past few moments.
However, you probably shouldn’t have left the issue untouched after that. This leaves each party confused and none would know how to continue from here. Treat him as thou nothing had happened? Or continue the cold war until you won’t see him again? Maybe finding a way to converse with him again and talking it out calmly would be the better way out after that. This gives each other a chance to clear any misunderstandings in a calm note, and also sort out how to continue the chapter from here. This helps to save the awkwardness that you will have while you are still working with him. =)
Cheers,
Yifan
Hey ChenYang,
ReplyDeleteContrary to Yifan's view-point, I don't think walking out on him would be the right thing to do. Primarily because many times, we might not even have that option!
I believe conflicts should be settled immediately, and ignorance or aversion may make matters worse. As Yifan suggested, maybe talking things out calmly would do the trick, so that each could offer an explanation for his doings, and further awkwardness or misunderstanding could be avoided.