It was a nice beautiful afternoon. Very nice. Until the thought of having to discuss a boring topic floats into mind. Marred by memory of a supposed wonderful day.
Meetings. We hate or love them. But you cannot deny they do get the job done. Doing an in-depth reflection in my group meeting. We indeed achieve quite a bit during our first meeting.
My reflection? I am glad to have 2 good members to work with. I personally lack the expertise in programming. Without my team members' explanations, I would have been lost through the discussion. I should read up more in depth before the meeting. Especially on receipt of the meeting agenda.
Our meeting lacked sharing though. I think its due to the point mentioned above. Due to lack of knowledge, I personally feel left out during discussions. Must read more!
Besides that, distractions were commonplace in our meeting. Take me for example. Laptop, hand phone and noises from the background. I was so easily distracted by them that I had to be brought back into the discussion by my team mates. Sorry guys.
Lesson learnt? Keep my laptop off and hand phone in my bag during our next meeting.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
#3: Fight or Flight?
"Jon! Relax! I'm just trying to clear things up nicely!"
"You're a sneaky bastard, Chen Yang."
Meet Jon. My colleague. 1.73m tall, normal build, left the Army as a trained Guardsman.
Like all conflicts, we argued over matters that were ages old. Work undone, rubbish left behind. All the nitty gritty details supposed to be forgotten. Culminating into one of the worst argument in my life.
Jon VS Chen Yang.
The background. A simple 16 letter word that keeps countries divided and humans bleeding. Misunderstanding. A simple excuse, a complex solution. I was told to submit a list of unfinished tasks to Jon for his record. Jon took the initiative to finish one of the dispatch tasks. Unknowingly, the task was already completed by me and filed.
The Lead. Jon was the target board of the firm. If anything went wrong, it had to be Jon. Jon's files, Jon's documents, Jon's work style. It could not be helped. Files that went wrong and were in our lawyers' office were his. He was quiet. Tasked to monitor dispatch.
The Supporting. Chen Yang. New worker. A greenhorn. Able to make frequent conversations with the boss. Overly ambitious. Tasked to dispatch documents on regular basis.
His point. Jon had made a wasted trip down to the location. You should have known that I am collating the unfinished tasks for a reason. I want to make sure that the task is complete so that the company will not get into trouble.
My point. Why are you doing my job?
The climax. A heated argument in office. After all my other colleagues have left. There was no resolution. I left after feeling that the argument would lead to nowhere.
Conclusion. We never conversed after that.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Is walking away from an argument really the best solution to resolve a conflict?
"You're a sneaky bastard, Chen Yang."
Meet Jon. My colleague. 1.73m tall, normal build, left the Army as a trained Guardsman.
Like all conflicts, we argued over matters that were ages old. Work undone, rubbish left behind. All the nitty gritty details supposed to be forgotten. Culminating into one of the worst argument in my life.
Jon VS Chen Yang.
The background. A simple 16 letter word that keeps countries divided and humans bleeding. Misunderstanding. A simple excuse, a complex solution. I was told to submit a list of unfinished tasks to Jon for his record. Jon took the initiative to finish one of the dispatch tasks. Unknowingly, the task was already completed by me and filed.
The Lead. Jon was the target board of the firm. If anything went wrong, it had to be Jon. Jon's files, Jon's documents, Jon's work style. It could not be helped. Files that went wrong and were in our lawyers' office were his. He was quiet. Tasked to monitor dispatch.
The Supporting. Chen Yang. New worker. A greenhorn. Able to make frequent conversations with the boss. Overly ambitious. Tasked to dispatch documents on regular basis.
His point. Jon had made a wasted trip down to the location. You should have known that I am collating the unfinished tasks for a reason. I want to make sure that the task is complete so that the company will not get into trouble.
My point. Why are you doing my job?
The climax. A heated argument in office. After all my other colleagues have left. There was no resolution. I left after feeling that the argument would lead to nowhere.
Conclusion. We never conversed after that.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Is walking away from an argument really the best solution to resolve a conflict?
F.U.C.K.
Modern day conflict resolution has degenerated into processes far more primitive than when Christ existed. Why so?
Back in the olden days, Plato & Co. used to thrash out their differences in pimped out forums and theaters, with well rehearsed and thought out arguments. Now, we simply hurl our opponents with vulgarities, crude remarks, banana skins, food leftovers, Molotov Cocktails, missiles. Pig heads anyone?
How many times have you been in an argument or conflict, where both ends will end up with bad feelings about another? Worse still, how many of us have seen an argument ending with a vulgarity followed by either party walking off, leaving another bewildered, or even laughing?
To put it simply, modern day conflict resolution has devolved into a form of "emotion exhibition". The skills of reasoning and understanding the other party's perception in the midst of a heated argument have long been "thrown out of the window".
F.U.C.K.
Yes. The four letter verb that ranks sky high in our species' vocabulary.
F - Finish it off nicely. Never walk off with a "BANG!". You may have won the battle, but you might not have won the war. Even if FUCK made your opponent laugh, the conflict is not resolved. You know it.
U - Understand your opponent's viewpoint. We are a reasonable species so there will definitely be rationales for our actions.
C - Communicate. Not only send a message, but be on the receiving end. Listen. Decode the message sensibly.
K - Know the line between personal and work. Kudos to those who believe that arguments can change a person's mindset/mentality. Send my regards to Santa and Rudolph, will you? By separating the problem from the person, real issues can be debated without damaging working relationships. Personal attacks hurt. They do.
F.U.C.K. The golden advice I have for conflict resolution. So in your team, before you decide to hurl It at your team mate, remind yourself of the words, F.U.C.K.
Do you think these points are applicable to all conflict scenarios we encounter in our daily life?
Back in the olden days, Plato & Co. used to thrash out their differences in pimped out forums and theaters, with well rehearsed and thought out arguments. Now, we simply hurl our opponents with vulgarities, crude remarks, banana skins, food leftovers, Molotov Cocktails, missiles. Pig heads anyone?
How many times have you been in an argument or conflict, where both ends will end up with bad feelings about another? Worse still, how many of us have seen an argument ending with a vulgarity followed by either party walking off, leaving another bewildered, or even laughing?
To put it simply, modern day conflict resolution has devolved into a form of "emotion exhibition". The skills of reasoning and understanding the other party's perception in the midst of a heated argument have long been "thrown out of the window".
F.U.C.K.
Yes. The four letter verb that ranks sky high in our species' vocabulary.
F - Finish it off nicely. Never walk off with a "BANG!". You may have won the battle, but you might not have won the war. Even if FUCK made your opponent laugh, the conflict is not resolved. You know it.
U - Understand your opponent's viewpoint. We are a reasonable species so there will definitely be rationales for our actions.
C - Communicate. Not only send a message, but be on the receiving end. Listen. Decode the message sensibly.
K - Know the line between personal and work. Kudos to those who believe that arguments can change a person's mindset/mentality. Send my regards to Santa and Rudolph, will you? By separating the problem from the person, real issues can be debated without damaging working relationships. Personal attacks hurt. They do.
F.U.C.K. The golden advice I have for conflict resolution. So in your team, before you decide to hurl It at your team mate, remind yourself of the words, F.U.C.K.
Do you think these points are applicable to all conflict scenarios we encounter in our daily life?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
It Is Never My Problem, It Definitely Is Their Problem
I remember sharing this with my Team Communications module tutor, Ms Brenda, during a discussion.
At that moment, it struck me. Is this statement a hint of my individual selfishness? Or is this a reflection of my nation's culture?
In my context, I pay more than $5,000 of school fees every year. Is is substantial amount of money, considering that $5,000 could pay for months of household expenses in the family.
Is it right that I have to take the initiative to make changes in my institute? Or should the institute that I paid to, be responsible to ensure that I study in the most conducive environment?
Is it right that I have put up with boring lecturers and tutors, whom teaching I will take ages to comprehend? Or should the institute that took my $5,000, change that to ensure that I study in the most conducive environment, again?
However, think about it. How many other students in the institute out there have the same demands? The population is definitely not 1. Who then pays for our dear lecturers who have spent half of their life on the teachings they try to pass on to us?
In a nutshell, there are many perspectives to a problem. Quoting from Ms Brenda, eliminate the "iSpeak", and you will definitely benefit in the long run. Maybe not physically, but at least morally.
No videos or multimedia for this post. Too tired from school to source for one. :)
At that moment, it struck me. Is this statement a hint of my individual selfishness? Or is this a reflection of my nation's culture?
In my context, I pay more than $5,000 of school fees every year. Is is substantial amount of money, considering that $5,000 could pay for months of household expenses in the family.
Is it right that I have to take the initiative to make changes in my institute? Or should the institute that I paid to, be responsible to ensure that I study in the most conducive environment?
Is it right that I have put up with boring lecturers and tutors, whom teaching I will take ages to comprehend? Or should the institute that took my $5,000, change that to ensure that I study in the most conducive environment, again?
However, think about it. How many other students in the institute out there have the same demands? The population is definitely not 1. Who then pays for our dear lecturers who have spent half of their life on the teachings they try to pass on to us?
In a nutshell, there are many perspectives to a problem. Quoting from Ms Brenda, eliminate the "iSpeak", and you will definitely benefit in the long run. Maybe not physically, but at least morally.
No videos or multimedia for this post. Too tired from school to source for one. :)
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